Do you ever feel that you are "different" from other people? I don't mean differences due to a disability, or occupation; but something that is almost impossible to describe. Perhaps your interests and priorities are way off at a tangent to those of others; your mode of thinking follows different lines; you don't cope with "small talk" very well, and you accept coffee morning invitations but spend most of the time listening to others talk, or just switch off!

Knowing that you do not want to, or cannot, follow the "mainstream" can bring difficulties. A lot of people, whether they like to admit it or not, socialise with others in the hope of "what's in it for me?" If they think you have nothing to offer, then you don't get a look-in. I have had to mingle almost daily with a wide range of parents, whose children (including my own) attend private school. Many are wealthy; many more give the impression of wealth, although much of this is provided by a healthy bank overdraft. Others are not wealthy but, despite cash shortages, have chosen to follow a different educational route for their children and pay for the extra facilities that private education offers. In doing so, I have to some extent alienated myself from several neighbours, whose children attend normal state school. Again, it is this business of "being different". Thankfully my son is proving his brains-worth and has been deserving of every penny spent on his behalf so far.

Does a person ever deliberately set out to be "different?" Well, they can indeed do so; although in my case (and no doubt many others as well), I had this feeling of different-ness at about the age of four or five. I didn't play with dolls and wendy-houses; preferred and read science books rather than comics; was never interested in "girlie" things like make-up, fashion-clothes and having boyfriends, nor going to parties and discos. In later years, all the "worldly" things such as having wealthy friends, affording exotic holidays and joining expensive fitness clubs have held little interest. Rather, the environment, care of same and following interests of a mental nature have been much more dominant. These are thoughts which, if you are "different" are very hard to share with others.

So, what exactly is my article aiming at? I am hoping that, out there, may be some one else who also feels "different" and maybe even feels isolated. This is to let you know that you are not alone. It is easy to follow the crowd. Everyone accepts you; everyone likes you, because you are doing what they are doing. They feel comfortable having you around. The moment you change---rebel---and move off to do your own thing, you cause shock waves. "The Crowd" no longer feels comfortable with you. You get queer looks; no-one talks to you any more. Perhaps. The door is closed and you are "out".

Once alone, however, many "different" people struggle to find a personal direction. This is probably the hardest part of all; swimming against the tide. What can I do? What should I be doing? Why am I different? The feeling of being different is usually so strong that you are compelled to go with it. Some fight it and attempt to slot back into the normal world of "the crowd"; but it is rarely successful. At some stage, the real personality emerges and becomes obvious to all.

At a rough guess, I would say that probably just about all creative people would claim to be a little "different". Writers and artists require much solo time in order to produce their best work; musicians, although perhaps seen as more sociable, also need time alone to either write or play. This withdrawal from the general world is obligatory; it comes with the job, if you like.

If you are someone who has always felt a bit of an oddball, or just never fitted in to the local scenery, be comforted by the fact that there are loads of us out there in the world. Your "different-ness" may well be adaptable to some kind of creative work; working alone, or indulging in further educational studies for personal satisfaction. I have found it hard to be different, and still do; but have managed to find a few personal directions where I feel comfortable and capable.

Thank you to Christine for her contribution

Christine has chosen to further her long-standing interests in amateur art and associated groups. Starting out over 25 years ago as a complete painting novice, she sees the Internet as an ideal way for any artist to have a permanent display of their works and perhaps attract extra income. She is also happy to give basic webpage building advice. Examples of her own work can be seen at www.cottagegallery.freeservers.com/index.htm